Some Emotional Stuff

I'm trying to work out the roots of some emotional crap that I'm dealing with tonight (re: an outburst of sobbing for 20 minutes or so after I wrote this post on LJ. You can guess that I wasn't feeling real chipper beforehand either. At any rate, this post or the posts after may be short, or get edited, or whatever. 

I know that I want to feel needed. That way I don't feel shitty when I need help. Also, I legitimately like helping people. I makes me feel useful and helpful.

I know that I need more positive people interaction in my life right now than I've been getting.

I know that a lot of the time, I don't need attention, just for there to be people I trust around. (Is that like the fucking definition of a family or what? Why don't I have a fucking family? (Ok, why don't I have a local family?) Why do I need a family this badly? It doesn't seem like others do.)

Why do I feel so uncomfortable saying stuff like this to other people? I've never yet experienced an emotion and had it turn out to be unique or even hugely uncommon, so why do I feel like people will object or judge me if I talk to them about emotional stuff?

Maybe I'll post this entry to LJ later, if I get brave.